Date:	2007-11-29 09:56
Subject:	Friends Only
Security:	Public
Mood:	happy
Music:	Dirty Laundry

Date:	2007-07-19 01:58
Subject:	"father" not "dad."
Security:	Public
Mood:	bitchy
Music:	"pressure"; paramore.

Date:	2007-06-20 00:56
Subject:	as she wastes away into a beautiful oblivion.
Security:	Public
Mood:	absolutelycrushed&&depressed.
Music:	disposable teens; manson.

and i'm so scared.

Date:	2007-05-13 20:12
Subject:	just another day, just another broken promise.
Security:	Public
Mood:	content
Music:	not good enough for truth or cliche; escape the fate.

Date:	2007-02-20 14:58
Subject:	cell phones and fairy tales.
Security:	Public
Mood:	AMAZING.

presentation grade: 95%. [A]

(i've been freakishly happy ever since.)

let's get this straight. i HATE country. but the subject header is stuck in my head, compliments of tiffany.

okay, so here it goes.

TUESDAY: i go to school without a CLUE of where to go. so i go to dukeman, because english teachers know everything. and dukeman is the goddess of english teachers. she tells me to get the scedules from her mail box. so, i walk across the school, grab her mail, and bring it back to her.

dukeman: "Okay, thank you. You can get your schedule from your first period teacher."
me: "i don't HAVE a first period teacher, that i know of."
dukeman: "your first semester first period teacher."
me: "...oh."

so alyssa goes to class, and i go with her. i leave, and go to mrs. hill's class. she's AWESOME.

me: "mrs. hill. i hear a rumour that you have schedules."
hill: "i do, but not yours."
me: "okay...where do i go then?"
hill: "no idea."
me: -sits down- "well, then i'm not leaving. because i don't feel like it."
hill: -calls somewhere, talks, hangs up- "okay, listen up guys! if i don NOT have your schedule--david, lindsey, diana--you guys need to go to mrs. vento. she'll print you up one."

we leave. diana knows where she's going. life management, some teacher. david and i go to the office. HOLY CRAP, lots of people. he takes me through a short cut, through two assistant principals' offices. they say nothing. we walk back to mrs. vento, she takes our student ID numbers, prints out schedules. we're outta there.

i exit the office alone. i run into nick dolan. he asks me where i'm headed.

me: "hooker's, in the gym."
nick: "hooker isn't in the gym."
me: "that's what it says here."
nick: "i thought his classroom was next to scolaro."
me: "well, this says the gym. so i'm headed there."

scolaro? great. that's where alyssa is. we say goodbye, and i head into the hallways in the gym building. i walk up to someone holding the doors open in the gym, and he asks what's up.

me: "no idea."
him: "neither do we. lemme see that."

he takes the schedule, and calls out to a tall guy with his back to us.

him: "coach allen, we have another one."

COACH ALLEN? just what i need. my night school teacher's husband. yes. the famous night school teacher who obviously thinks i'm ready to off myself. and has probably convinced my guidance counselor of it too.

coach allen: "well i don't know where he is, ..." -walks away, followed by two boys-
me: -yells after- "well is that were those two are supposed to go?"
coach allen: "yeah."
me: "good, because i'm following you."

so i follow him. and he goes to the class that supposedly is mr. hooker's. and he gets the teacher in there to find out hooker's room. 02-210.

right next to scolaro.

ugh. i hate that i'm right next to alyssa now. technically, at all times while on school campus, i'm within 25 feet of her. i want my old class back. i want to go back to mrs. hill.

i love her, she's like my sister, but GOD. she's attached to me at the hip. i can't even listen to my psp on the bus without her.

and she steals my make-up remover.

WEDNESDAY: hooker's class, we went to mrs. reeder's room. she's the career resource center lady. she was working with the class on figuring out what we wanted to do when we graduate. okay, so the WHOLE CLASS is FRESHMEN. i sat there. and did freshmen work. thinking the whole time. that if i would've stayed in clearwater. i'd be in this class with SENIORS. because at clearwater, it was a senior class. thinking the whole time. that this school is totally backwards.

roman's class, very funny. we talked about killing people in our minds. if, the person in question, is still alive but is indeed dead to your mind and you don't register them as alive, then they do not bother you anymore. i tried to do this with alienbreath. but it didn't work. maybe i don't have the mind power to do it yet, like roman said.

duke's class. we had a sub. with an EXTREMELY BAD combover. alyssa and i were saying how we had already did the vocab duke gave us to do.

mr. sub: "be quiet and do the work."
me: "we're talking about the work. we're already done the work."
mr. sub: "i don't care if you talk about it. do it."
me: "we've already DONE it."

ugh. annoying.

signed up to see gushue at lunch. almost didn't come to marchman. rob isn't here today, so. nick, amanduh, jessica and i sat around and talked about how much we hated this class, how much we were being neglected by rob, and how none of us are turning in production books.

i might be the only one not turning it in. amanduh said she might not, jessica said she probably will, and nick said he'll give what he has.

i'm putting my title page in a plastic cover, and handing it to him. that would seriously piss him off. amanduh was like "dude. he'd KILL you if you did that. seriously, he'd go apeshit."

and. darn. it's time to leave.

first of all, bittenuplips is my new user--for stories. yes. i've followed the trend of ljs specifically for writing, and it's easy for me to access at school while i'm defiantly disobeying rob. i've made the first post and it's IMPERATIVE [that means important, dumasses] that you rread it. or at least the beginning of it.

second of all, i think it's been a while since i've posted! i haven't posted at all winter break. wait, scratch that. i haven't posted at all this christmas break. make no mistake, there was not the least bit of winter put into this break. and it seemed like we had a tsunami downpour on christmas day! man. you all would've shit yourselves, had you been over my grandmother's house. lou started yelling and cussing and calling liz names, took all of her stuff. INCLUDING her cell phone. when the whole family could hear. anyway, i'm gonna get worked up if i go any farther, so remind me about this another time.

third of all--i don't even have a third of all.

okay. well. i thought about it, and i do now. 

i'm thinking of dropping rob's class. tomorrow. if i can. i'm going to talk to gushue [yes, the woman who called me to her office because Mrs. Allen gave her the lyrics] to see what's available. i can't take his class anymore. it's stupid, and mom's paid 80 dollars for me to sit around and be overworked and neglected as a second year? i don't think so. i hate it, i hate it i hate it. 

oh yeah, i quit my job at wendy's, too. i couldn't stand it there, either. but if i would've stayed until friday, i could've gotten traci in an icklebit of trouble. but whatever.

and...i'm working on losing weight. i've got a pound of two off. -looks down at stomach bulge- i think. anyway, i've got to get a hold of sargent russell as soon as i'm down to...-gulp-...165. damn, that's a lot! ugh. but who cares, because i'll be skinny by christmas. and you girls are ALL coming to see me in virginia. or, where ever i might be. if it happens to be in another country [like...England, perhaps?] i'll TRY to pay for a ticket or two. dunno that that's going to happen, but. oh well. whatever. it's far away from now, and i don't feel like thinking about it.

and it seems that it's 11:30 am. i haven't been to sleep yet, and i've still got LOTS of cleaning and at least 5 loads of laundry to do before i head back to schol tomorrow.

what a way to spend my last day of freedom, and ultimately my last day of sanity, huh?

LOVE YOU ALL!

-lynnie.

Date:	2006-12-21 12:11
Subject:	this lady does not stop.
Security:	Public
Mood:	sick to my stomach.
Music:	"mama"; my chem.

um. when i get home, i'll photoshop some pics of my new bangs together. maybe give me a new dye-job.

and i kinda got in trouble today...well not really but i got called to the guidance counselor because of "concerns" my night school teacher had. i had no idea that when mrs. hill answered the phone, that it was because i was about to be interrogated.

interrogated because of my chem lyrics.

[[[i printed out the lyrics to My Chem's "mama" and underlined some of it, folded it and stuck it in my book-bag. then i finished up my personal fitness journal, i put that in my book-bag, and i guess the lyrics got caught inbetween the paper and the back cover. well mrs. allen saw them, and thought it was "a little off." so um. as you all know, she tends to be a little *cough* WAY! *cough* over protective of her students, and miss gushue was explaining this.

miss gushue got up, shut the door, and says the most threatening thing i've heard in my life [thus far]: "You're not in trouble or anything, I just want to talk."

gushue: "Mrs. Allen came to me with this," -pulls out my personal fitness journal- "You probably know she's extremely protective of her students. She loves you, and she thinks you're a great kid. Mrs. Allen just wanted to be sure that this didn't mean anything, she thinks it's better to be over protective than under protective. And I agree. She wanted to make sure you were okay."

and she pulled out the lyrics from my personal fitness journal.

me: "OMG! I was looking for those!"

gushue: "Mrs. Allen was a little concerned because of the underlined sections, and I guess you wrote some of the lyrics down inside the notebook." -opens notebook and points to a few-

so a lie fell out of my mouth. not a big one, but a lie.

me: "I underlined those lines because a friend of mine didn't know them, so."

miss gushue questioned me on the lyrics i had written down.

me: "I write lyrics all over everything."

that's true. she asked more.

gushue: "So nothing's wrong, no chance that you might hurt yourself?"

from where she was sitting, one could only see the topside of my right, but one could also see the inside of my left. which is where the scars are. i noticed she glanced at my wrists when she asked this. but i've no idea whether she saw the scars or not.

me: -shakes head- "No. I'm good."
gushue: "Good, we just wanted to make sure that nothing was wrong. Nothing is, right?"
me: "Right. I'm fine."
gushue: "If something was wrong, would...like, be comfortable--I mean, it doesn't have to be me, but would you feel comfortable talking to someone here at school? A teacher or somebody?"

another lie.

me: "Totally."

this lady does not stop.

gushue: "Are you sure?"
me: "Yeah. There's a few, actually."
gushue: "Okay. Then I guess I'll let you go."

and that's the point when the interview stopped and i started asking questions about my schedule for next semester.]]]

i just really hope she didn't call mom.

that would be bad.

-------------------------------------------------------------

EDIT:

mom was not called. and if she was, she didn't say anything. yet.

but i can't wait to get out of here.

i might even call into work.

so um. alyssa and i were watching my self portrait, and then to raw footage from my self portrait. she said i should cut my bangs like i had them then. so i said i would, because i liked them too. and um. i did. i cut them, and they turned out straight [i wanted them angled]. so she tried to fix them, and then i did, and then she did, and then i did, and they turned out WAAAAY too short on the left side. the shortest piece is about an inch and a half long. so she started laughing, and decided to cut hers. the left side looked okay. she came back like 5 minutes later, and pulled down the other side to cut them. well, she cut the right side while she was on the phone with her boyfriend. they sprang up, and omg. so she tried to fix it by doing what i did to my bangs, angling them for the scene/emo look. well. it didn't work. so she ended up cutting them straight across, and they're above her eyebrows. so when she leaves them down and puts her hair back, she looks like she's 10.

the funny part about this? everyone knows but mom.

Date:	2006-12-14 17:05
Subject:	why?
Security:	Public
Mood:	crazy
Music:	"teenagers"; my chemical romance.

can someone tell me why i always get into more trouble now that i'm around alyssa? 

today we had a sub in mrs. dukeman's class. 

this kid falls asleep in every one of his classes. we got tired of watching him sleep. someone put a "kick me!" sign on his back. laura and i untied his [double knotted!] shoes and tied the laces together. then laura told the sub she had to go to the washroom, and came back with two rolls of toilet paper. 























the sub went outside, and went the kid woke up, the sub comes in and goes "what are you kids doin'? i'm gone to the media for two minutes and you're gettin into trouble!"

awesome.

the sub covered for us.

ironically, i'm listening to a song that goes:

"They say oh
Teenagers scare the living shit outta me!
They could care less as long as someone'll bleed.
So tuck in your clothes,
Or strike a violent pose.
Maybe they'll leave you alone, but not me."

Date:	2006-11-07 18:25
Subject:	she's just like a maze.
Security:	Public
Mood:	here lies: lynette scavhoe

ugh. please give lynette some cheese to go with her WHINE.

but she's TOAST.

i should just begin writing what i want put on my headstone.

senior projects can't be done without the use of the internet. for me, there is no option of "library." the outlines were due today. guess who didn't get to do one? -raises hand- i would've wrote one in microsoft word and printed it out, but mom wanted to see a movie instead of buy ink for the printer. but then again, i could've wrote one up and emailed it to myself to print out in duke's class, but then there's the problem of i don't have the internet. i give it a week before mrs. crabtree's on my ass about "lindsey, where's your outline? you need to do your outline. your outline was due a week ago. do you have an outline written?" and i'll tell her "omg, STOP SAYING OUTLINE!!!"

journals for mrs. hill [economics] are due thursday. i'm screwed on that, too. i need 5 national articles, 4 local articles, and 5 political cartoons. all with summaries. well, i have two national and local topics, and 4 political cartoons. i only have summaries for the articles, though. [writing summaries for the cartoons isn't my problem. i can handwrite those.] guess who's not turning one in? -sinks down in seat-

i'm failing spanish class. we had a teest yesterday. you know what? i sat there, put my name/hour/date in english. [senor roman says "and i'd like the date to be written out. in espanol."] and then, after doing that, i sat there for 40 minutes. doing nothing. so i turned my test in with not a single question answered. it was all fill in the blank. all about the preterit. whatever-the-fuck that is.

rob's class is just getting worse. blame it on the first years. even though i'm good friends with one of them. he spends all his time working with the first years, and the second years just get stuck...editing. always. it's sofuckingrepetative. and we all hate it. he claims he's coming to work with us after the first years learn final cut, but...he's said that before with something else. i've no need to believe this from him.

and one more thing. i've realized my dad is just as big a scumbag as his younger brother. who is NOT my uncle.

mom's waiting outside, and if i make her wait too long, she'll call the classroom.

LYNNIE <3'S HER BITCHES.

Anorexia
[x] you have dry skin.
[x] you're very weak.
[x] you hate your body.
[ ] you starve yourself.
[x] you have low self esteem.
[ ] you use laxatives.
[x] you need to be skinnier.
[ ] people think you are way too skinny.
total: 5

ADHD (attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder)
[ ] you are hyper most of the time.
[x] you barely pay attention to anything.
[ ] you cannot cooperate with people well.
[ ] you seem to never sit still.
[x] you talk all the time.
[ ] you need attention 24/7.
total: 2

Bipolar Disorder
[x] you can act wild at times then the next you are upset.
[ ] you are very irritable.
[ ] you get barely any or no sleep.
[ ] you are anti-social.
[ ] you have very high self esteem at times.
[ ] you are abusing alcohol, drugs, or sex.
total: 1

Bulimia Nervosa
[ ] you throw up all of your food.
[ ] you throw it up even when you don't feel sick.
[ ] you have no control over how you eat.
[ ] you use laxatives.
[x] youve fasted.
[x] you have overly excercised to where you almost fainted/passed out.
[ ] you say you are fat, when you aren't.
[ ] people think you are way too skinny.
total: 2

Conduct Disorder
[ ] you are a bully.
[x] you threaten other people.
[ ] you find yourself in fights.
[x] you have used a weapon that could cause injury to others. (eg: knife, bat, etc.)
[ ] you are cruel to humans and/or animals.
[ ] you have molested someone.
[ ] you destroy property on purpose.
[x] you lie.
[ ] you stay out all night.
[ ] you have ran away from home.
total: 3

Depression
[x] you are always sad inside.
[ ] you always are crying.
[x] you find no hope in your future.
[x] you find no longer excitement over the activities you used to love.
[x] you always find yourself around the house or in bed all day.
[x] you can be/are anti-social.
[x] you have low self esteem.
[x] everything bad that happens is always your fault (somehow)
[x] you always seem to be weak or have physical features hurt.
[x] you are failing school.
[ ] you have ran away from home.
[ ] hope is no longer there for you
total: 9

OCD (obsession compulsive disorder)
[x] you have daily rituals.
[x] you have disturbing thoughts or thoughts you hate.
[ ] you have to do a certain thing until it feels right.
[ ] you have to keep things in a certain order.
[x] you have harmed yourself.
[x] you are afraid you will get a std, aids, or any kind of germs.
[ ] you have to check some stuff over again. (ex: checking door repeatly)
total: 4

PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder)
[ ] you repeatly have flashbacks of horrible moments/memories in your life.
[x] you have dreams of horrible moments/memories in your life.
[x] you sometimes think the event will happen again.
[x] you feel highly uncomfortable when remembered/remembering the event.
[x] you can be/are anti-social.
[x] you have lost interest in the things you used to love.
[ ] you have not had alot of sleep lately.
[ ] you worry about dying at a early age or dying at all.
[x] you can have angry outbursts.
[ ] you act younger than your age. (ex: thumbsucking, etc.)
total: 6

Schizophrenia
[x] you often have hallucinations (seeing things or hearing things that aren't there).
[x] you have strange, unusual dreams or thoughts.
[ ] you can be confused about reality and fantasy.
[x] you think people are always staring or talking about you.
[x] you have extreme anxiety or fearfullness.
[x] you have difficulty with relationships with family, friends, and opposite sex.
[x] you do not take care of your hygeine like you should.
[x] you are shy.
[x] you often talk to yourself.
total: 8

Now, add them up and see which has the most and you'll figure out your disorder.

Date:	2006-10-12 22:25
Subject:	dude, the male parental unit and i are geniuses.
Security:	Public
Mood:	exhausted, fighting&&screaming
Music:	"99 red balloons" by reel big fish

Date:	2006-09-19 13:07
Subject:	there's a class for this...
Security:	Public
Mood:	emo
Music:	"dear jamie...sincerely me." by hellogoodbye

purevolume.com = my newest <3. i'm completely addicted. tawney of oz: cramps, bloating, and unbelievable bluntness oh my! fuck this skills usa crap. i can't stand it. *pulls hair in front of face all emo-like.* oh. oh shit. *burp* i feel free, yet trapped within the confines of my LIFE.

Date:	2006-09-18 23:06
Subject:	do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Security:	Public
Mood:	vooDEEdoo.
Music:	"when i get home you're so dead." by mayday parade.

mom's got a guy friend. his name is larry. she just left to see him. she'll be back around midnight.

omg. i HATE this no-internet thing. and i HATE this night school thing. but the one thing i DON'T hate is the fact that i'm not pregnant.

like i was in my dream, omg.

i seemed like a whore. but i was really paranoid about it. like it was a total accident, but if anything happened, i'd be devastated.

i want to make it clear. i SEEMED like a whore.

i was NOT a whore.

but i was a whore.

i'm confusing myself.

whatever.

i still have paint on my arm and back. that was so awesome. tiana was fun to have over, seriously. we made a oujia and played it for an hour. then we tried to go for an OBE. and this weekend i'll probably be at dad's. and i'll post what she "saw" on my palm.

i have it figured out.

i was but i wasn't a whore.

Date:	2006-09-14 13:11
Subject:	face down.
Security:	Public
Mood:	numb
Music:	"face down." by the red jumpsuit apparatus.

my newest song obsession is "face down" by the red jumpsuit apparatus. so thus, purevolume.com = love. hey jordsie, what's your login on there?

we still have the internet. until monday. when i have night school. and there's a cool concert in clearwater at the skatepark. which i can't go to because of night school.

GOD that night school shit ruins everything.

ugh, i've been unbelieveably depressed without you girls. i swear. i'm going crazy, and i only socialize with a total of four girls. and that's maybe three times a day. before school, at lunch, and on the bus back to river ridge. other than that, it's mom/dad/lizzy, and mom/dad/lizzy alone.

so i had a dream last night. where i had a sister [fraternal twin. she was blonde. why is it that whenever i have a sister in a dream, she's ALWAYS a twin?] and mom and dickface were completely divorced. not just seperated. but they were arguing over something, and there was gas on the floor in part of the garage [which was in a seperate building from the house] and i accidentally set it on fire. so they didn't even notice, and i don't remember how it got put out. but i DO remember mom and dickface yelling and screaming [EXTREMELY loud, too] and my sister and i went into the house. i asked her "did mom and dickface fight this much before they divorced?" and she was like "hell yeah. they've always fought like that."

and then some weird thing where me and two other kids were helping a really really good friend ecsape from a really really mean person. i don't remember much of that at all.

but some chick called me at 3:37 this morning, asking for some person whose name started with an 'r'. i said "you've got the wrong number, now shut up and go to sleep." and hung up.

something even funnier? we were on the bus to marchman yesterday, and were talking about a steakhouse called remington. i said "ew, that place is naaasty." heather&&tiffany: "no it's not!" heather: "i guess it depends on what you get." tiffany: "what'd you get?" me: "salmon." some guy: "that's why! who gets FISH at a STEAKHOUSE?!" i was like "ME, because i don't eat red meat, you DOUCHEBAG!" and he was like "...omg." kinda shocked because i guess he didn't know i speak up for myself sometimes. tiffany, brittney, heather and lacey thought it was funny though. they were like "good job, linds!"

so. yeah. it's like 13:25 so i'm gonna go. mom's picking me up from school again. remind me to tell you about basketball at night school yesterday.

EMAIL ME!! on my yahoo account.

&&___love.

Date:	2006-09-07 11:12
Subject:	fuck me.
Security:	Public
Mood:	sick
Music:	open your eyes by snow patrol.

tori: sincerely sorry. i snapped until midnight. it's bruuuuuised.
jordan: *pouts* i didn't get to talk to you! i hate pcs.
dj: we talked, but not much. wish we would've talked more.
gabby: it sucks that we didn't get to talk. hopefully soon!

atwood's crashed. he doesn't recognize my monitor, keyboard, or remote. i don't know when or IF i'm gonna be able to get him fixed. and when i do, i probably WON'T have adobe. *cries eyes out* lol but i'm going to dad's this weekend, last time before alien breath gets back. he's picking me up at 10:30 friday night. hopefully i can catch you all then.

&&___love.